okay. nothing's going right for me now. nothing at all. went arcade just now and got chased out by some ah soh. just because i was wearing my p6 camp tee and she says its a school t-shirt so i have to get out. damn. DO I LOOK LIKE A P6 GIRL TO YOU?! fine.. i shouted fuck into her face anyway. now the photocopy shop. hey what's wrong arh. people working in photocopying shops are all fucking bitches okay. give me that kinda look when i walk into the shop. and speak with that AH SOH tone. great. dont know whats up. still got some stuffs lar. damn. dont wanna talk about them le. okay.too pissed to carry on. bye.

yay.. sabbaticals rock.. haha.. i'm in chinese dance and Maths-geo through the world!! haha... chinese dance is SO fun.. dancing so cool lor. with chinese fans.. haha with flappy ends... jump here jump there.. and i'm getting more flexible by the day! haha.. and can jian fei without even sweating. haha.. then jump here jump there turn here turn there although very tiring but very very fun!!! haha.. then we learn almost the whole dance in 3 days, 2 hrs every day lor... haha... gonna perform or should i say, dance in the quadrangle on friday.. come down and watch k? haha.. very pretty one.. especially all the fans.. haha.. we're dancing from 10-12.. haha...

about maths geo through the world.. quite interesting.. especially mr. teo's lesson today.. about the fractals and chaos thing.. haha.. so so so cool.. haha.. really nice.. then yesterday was mrs. wong's class... foldin quite a lot of paper.. haha... and got another idea for gifts le... haha... yays... okay... i think that's about it..

oh yearh.. friday going to play at SMU right... as in Volleyball.. haha... wear training jersey k.. the white and blueand number at the side one... :) yays.. so.. yearh..

i have quite alot of problems now.. but.. hmm.. never mind.. shan't mention them anyway.. don't want anyone else to carry my burden too.. haha... shall just try and solve myself.. if cannot.. then at the most i break down again lor... yearh.. so we shall wait and see if things can go well under my control ba.. :) okay.. just talked to crystal on the phone.. haha.. we like very long never talk until like that le.. or is it that i very long never call you le... haha.. okay.. shall call you more often to cu jin gan qing ba.. haha.. i just wanna say something.. crystal.. i think i'm treating you quite coldly these few days... haha.. don't know why but i guess i've become more independent.. :) just wanna let you know that you are still, and always will be, my bestest friend..haha.. cheers girl! don't be depressed again k... or i'll be depressed too.. haha.. yumei and congrui too!! i haven't forgotten you 2!! haha... jia yous to both of you and yumei.. rest well.. dont hurt your thumb again okay... cheers!!

alright.. gettin late... better sleep le! nightey everyone...

p.s. i think i've become much more cheerful than before le.. :)

oh my freaking goodness. what is happening? So many things are going on right now and i'm totally busted. okay.. ben.. mr. teo.. team.. work.. band..
HOW DO I COPE. YOU WANNA KNOW? YOU REALLY REALLY WANNA KNOW?? by slogging your hearts out and puking blood just to satisfy people. that's just the beginning.

ben... hmm... emails? MORE. but forget it. *tolerance level*

mr. teo. BUSTED. NO MORE FRIENDLIES IN NYGH ANYMORE SO LONG AS MR. TEO IS ALIVE AND IN CHARGE OF VOLLEYBALL. or i can jump off the building STRAIGHT. got scolded. so.. yearh.. want friendlies next time, SMU. or other places. no more nanyang hall. or i'll be slaughtered for at least a thousand times. why? because everybody believes THEY will rape us. COME ON LAR. WE ALSO NOT THAT PRETTY RIGHT. IF THEY REALLY RAPE THEN IS THEY NO TASTE LOR. no offence but yearh. haha. PURE CRAP AND CRAZINESS. just got scolded by mr. teo lar. cant face him anymore.

team? yearh.. team talk was successful for all of you but not totally for me. because i'm nyvb sec 2 '05 batch's nanny. haha. i am in charge of everything. sometimes i flare up for what seems small stuffs for you girls but not for me. You all may think i'm unreasonable, bitchy, bad-tempered and stupid but TRY BEING CAPTAIN FOR 1 DAY. it just sucks. HERE I AM SAYING SORRY NOW TO THOSE I FLARE UP WITH TODAY BECAUSE TOO MANY THINGS HAVE HAPPENED AND I JUST BURST.too many things piling inside me. and i have no one to spill to. so i have to let my emotions go once in a while.

work.. sab week this week.. time for me to catch up on my work but still dont have the energy to.. VERY STRESSED. THAT'S ONE OF THE REASONS I BURST TOO.

band.. erm.. so sorry elle.. dont have much time to practise these few weeks.. please please bear with me. because i have alot of other priorities. i know you get pissed when i refuse to play but i really dont have the energy sometimes. i can see that your face changes yearh.. you should know your emotions show very OBVIOUSLY... so i'm VERY VERY SORRY.

oh my goodness i have done so much wrong. I AM SO SORRY TO ALL THOSE I HURT. i will try to control myself.

Rarely, but yes, I shall dedicate this post to ALL MY LOVED ONES~

Enjoy-

Benjamin: =) erm. all that I wanna say has been said when I meet you. love you lots. Hug hugs. Haha. smile always.

Crystal: Yo sis!~ nice sub-setter and crapper and sister and best friend and--- just simply a nice girl! Haha. Try to focus more on our studies k. B-div isn't all. you won't take volleyball as a future career anyway. just try your best and jia you always~ will always support you no matter what. Haha. Maybe you don't know but yearh. I treasure you a lot and hope we stay like this for the rest of our lives~ haha. JIA YOU. If you have any problems, please tell me about them and don't keep them to yourselves. Harms yourself and me too. Always remember I'm here for you. STAY HAPPY.

Yumei: hello ZHONG!! Haha. my great great zhu gong!! You rock girl.. Hmm.. Although sometimes you look very very bui song and act so too.. Haha, but please remember.. If you have any problems, please, don't hesitate to come find me and tell me all about your problems. I promise I'll help as much as I can and try to cheer you up! Haha. You will always have me, crystal and congrui to back you up whenever you have problems. You can call me if you're bored too! Haha.. Although I think it'll be even more boring. Haha. But yearh, please do not cry anymore okay? You must be strong! JIA YOU and SMILE ALWAYS.

Congrui: very very funny crapper and person-to-take-bus-and-go-home-with and slack volleyball who wishes to get into B-div too. Haha. Alright. I'm just kidding. If you wanna get into B-div, please work hard and JIA YOU. If you wanna cry, please come to me. At least let me share all your stress okay! Haha. Take care of yourself, wash your windbreaker regularly please, and train your tolerance level. Haha. It would of course be appreciated too if you stop all the dirty jokes (HAHA!) and watch your mouth when speaking. You don't have to announce to the world about some stuffs you see. Haha. ROCK ON.

Elle (bassist): Yo gurl~ haha. Yearh you rock on the bass. Thanks for lending the listening ear no matter when I’m sad or happy. Haha. Continue to practice hard on your bassist and become the next rock star! Haha. Thanks for pushing me when I refuse to budge on my guitar (2 meanings!) and making me play even when I don’t feel like so that I could practice! Haha. I just wanna tell you that your feelings REALLY show a lot on the outside and must learn to control. Cause it kinda scares me you see. Haha. Thanks for bringing me to all those gigs! I really enjoyed them. Haha. FORGET HIM.

Jie (yuyin): Sis. I’m really sorry about the “fucked up life” thingy. I just wanna tell you that my life just sucked for that one moment and I love you. I know my life is precious. And you are very precious to me too. But I really hope you’ll support me in whatever decisions I make and guide me back when I go out of hand. Thanks a lot for everything you’ve done for me sis. THANK YOU.

Jiayun and Kalun: From the HCI volleyball team. Sub-set and Zhu gong. Hey! Thanks for being such good bros huh. Haha. Although we don’t see each other as often now except for our friendly matches, I hope you both will stay as my bros and stay happy always. JIA YOU in volleyball and hope we stay in contact for as long as possible~ =) KEEP IN CONTACT.

See Ting: Hello! Haha. I know you have a lot of troubles now and I can’t help much. But if you have any problems, please come over and tell me, or sms me. Haha. I enjoyed the previous PT we did together when we TALKED AND TALKED AND TALKED and even almost cried. Haha. But you too, don’t concentrate TOO much on B-div. Your education isstill much more important. You are a boarder and if you can’t give good results to your guardian, it won’t help with your cca too. Always prioritize your stuffs and JIA YOU FOR EVERYTHING.

My team now…

No. 1 : Rebecca
Yo!~ although you’re not in nyvb anymore, I know you will always support us in as many ways as you can! Haha. Thanks for being there when the team needs you and thanks for not neglecting us just because you changed cca. Haha. May you excel in whatever you do and yays, continue to be the chim-chim you. Haha.

No. 2 : ME!

No. 3 : Yumei
(its above)

No. 4 : Yng Tyng
Hi~ I know you really want to get into B-div, so JIA YOU! But remember not to neglect your studies or any other stuffs okay!

No. 5 : Shu Feng
Hi~ Pardon me but. I know you are quite small in size but you are still the macho-est in the team! Haha. WOAH--look at her strength. Haha. JIA YOU for volleyball!

No. 6 : Ying Rong
Hi~ my pro-pro ZHU GONG! Haha. Really very pro. Our spirit of the team ( chang shang ling hun ) and the sec 2 batch all-rounder. Haha. JIA YOU and continue improving. Always stay happy too. =)

No. 7 : Crystal
UP)
(look

No. 8 : Hui Ying
Hi~ Cute girl. Haha. Looksvery soft-spoken too. But I don’t think she is. Lol. Anyway, JIA YOU for volleyball and your spike is improving tremendously! Continue to work hard!

No. 9 : Xin Mei
Hi~ I know you’ve quit volleyball but yes, continue to excel in whatever you do. You hope for our support of your decision? HERE YOU ARE. Go ahead and try your best at shooting club. We are always behind you. =)

No. 10 : XinYi
Hi~ Our pro-pro 4 hao! Haha. And something even more important. FELLOW GREENDAY FAN. OH MY GOODNESS. Haha. You just rock. Haha. GREENDAY ROCKS TOO. Thanks for the CD~ haha. If you wanna know anymore about GREENDAY come find me okay! Haha.

No. 11 : See Ting
(mentioned above!)

No. 12 : Yang Yi
Hi~ pro-pro 4 hao! Haha.just need to tell you not to be chong dong when you jie qiu. I know very nervous, but remember to pan duan the ball first before changing okay! Haha. And thanks for being my echo when shouting! Haha. (psst! I admire your loud voice)

No. 14 : Congrui
(It’s UP THERE)

That’s about all. If any objections to any of the stuffs I wrote, or any correction, please tag okay! Haha…

you should just FOD! yes and it means fuck off and die.what's going on? yes and I READ THE MAILS. both of them.

i've never gotten angry over you or anything of that sort. NOTHING at all. but enough is enough. I WANT A GOOD EXPLANATION OR YOU CAN FOD.

yo peeps... hmm... today was soooo fun... haha... okay... spent the whole day with elle... woke up at 11+ i guess... or 12+... haha... then she hurry went down to wash filters while i ate a quick quick brunch then do work.. finish geog and chinese! haha... then went to bathe... then dressed up to go out.. haha... and elle said i look so--- me. lol... dont know what that meant anyway... then took mrt to town!! went to eat sakae sushi!! whoo... at first we thought got eat-all-you-can sushi buffet.. but turned out its for weekdays.. haha... but we went in to eat anyways... then ate ALOT of food... haha... then the passion fruit ice-cream was INCREDIBLE.. haha... yay.. i love passion fruit... then took some postcards...

then went to take neoprints!! haha...so funny cos the machine spoil... then our photos all gone... then cos the first one very screwed so we got to take second time!! haha... then turn out very nice..haha... okay.. that was a good part... :)

then took city buzz bus to esplanade for BAY BEATS.. whoo... BAY BEATS ROCKED MAN. TOTALLY... but the road to esplanade was blocked cos got the ndp preview today... so we went one big round and had to walk in in the end.. haha...we watched plush... they were an all-girls band... SO COOL CAN... yearh.. and it started raining but all was well till the jets and helicopters for ndp preview came flying overhead and covered all the music... haha.... then after that we left to marina square to walk before brandtson started playing... so bought peanut pancakes and PASSION FRUIT ALOE VERA to drink.. lol.. then spent so much time finding a place to sit.. lol.. then finally sat on the steps outside the ritz cartel.. haha... and guess what... half-way through got fire-works!! haha.. i got a video for it!! so cool.. lol... then went back to esplanade for brandtson's performance!! it was an up-close-and-personal acoustic concert!! whoo.. they rocked.. haha.. then can ask them questions then they play songs also.. haha... shall tryand find their album.. plush's also... yearh.. then came home lo... :)

alrite.. i think i'm being too sensitive.. or maybe i'm just a coward and that i dont dare to accept reality.. but any way or the other, i'm still gonna let it go.. for this time.. once more and i'll take action.

OH MY FREAKING HELL. OH SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT. AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL! DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH CRAP! SHIT YOU!

erm.. today? sianded lo.. OH.. sozzled came back to ny to play!!!! OH MY GOODNESS.. haha.. they didn't change much actually.. haha.. and they actually not very good compared to other bands i heard at other gigs but THEY STILL ROCK and they have improved!! whoo~ Mel played the first song blind-folded leh.. my freaking goodness lor.. then i left half-way cos it was too late and i had to go library return book.. then take 154 to clementi interchange first then waited for 105... WAITED SO LONG.. sianded... then the bus so slow.. reached library at like--5.30 or something?then hurry hurry return and borrow books then left.. bought a hot fudge sundae from macs then take bus home.. haha.. okay.. i think that's all today lor.. very sianded indeed.. okay.. bored and tired.. haha.. okay.. byebye~

TODAY WAS FUN! lol.. first we had our modern dance. LOL... we added Alex To's "tuo diao" in our dance music.. lol.. somemore is yesterday then add in one.. then this morning then choreograph that part.. lol... but it was so cool! THANKS MODERN DANCE GROUP FOR CO-OPERATING WITH US AND DOING A GOOD JOB! haha.. you all rock girls~

then training.. did PT.. ran stairs.. whoo~ haha.. THANKS yingrong and yngtyng for waiting for me.. your timings would've been faster but you both waited for me.. thanks alot.. and our timings were.. 7:01, 7:02, and 7:03! lol.. thanks alot arh.. and yangyi was so pro.. she ran all the way in front.. cos yingrong ran wrongly.. then yangyi jus took over and started sprinting off.. lol..anyway.. we did well.. lol.. jia you~ then PT.. quite funny and slack cause doing with see ting.. haha.. half-way got diarrhea! must be the chicken cutlet.. stomach was churning like hell.. but after that okay le.. so training jus ended like that then the jie sanpart damn stupid.. i say "nanyang" nobody answer.. haha.. then i said longer then they went "ace".. lol.. it ended at 4+ lor.. then in the end we went to play at the outdoor court.. lol.. yingrong yngtyng and yangyi were piggy-backing people.. lol.. then they 3 piggy-backed me! lol.. so funny.. then bounce and bounce and bounce all the way from one end of the court to the other.. lol.. SO FUN but scary.. lol.. cos i dont really like to be piggy-backed.. lol.. then like wanna drop like that.. haha.. then started to da qiu.. and half-way through lightning striked and all of us crouched or squat down immediately lor.. LOL.. what a scene man.. haha.. then yangyi very scared but we continued playing till it drizzle.. then after that started pouring like siao.. haha.. then we hurry go back in and had mini-team-meeting.. on sec4 farewell party stuffs.. okay.. i will write the ideas down and if you all have other ideas for the gifts, tell me k.. then maybe endof this week or next week then i will call you all back and vote then we carry on to prepare the gifts.. :)okay..
tired now.. haha... byebye~ till next time.. haha...

oh yes.. waited.. but still nothing happened... i shall continue to wait then..

TODAY WAS FUN! lol.. first we had our modern dance. LOL... we added Alex To's "tuo diao" in our dance music.. lol.. somemore is yesterday then add in one.. then this morning then choreograph that part.. lol... but it was so cool! THANKS MODERN DANCE GROUP FOR CO-OPERATING WITH US AND DOING A GOOD JOB! haha.. you all rock girls~

then training.. did PT.. ran stairs.. whoo~ haha.. THANKS yingrong and yngtyng for waiting for me.. your timings would've been faster but you both waited for me.. thanks alot.. and our timings were.. 7:01, 7:02, and 7:03! lol.. thanks alot arh.. and yangyi was so pro.. she ran all the way in front.. cos yingrong ran wrongly.. then yangyi jus took over and started sprinting off.. lol..anyway.. we did well.. lol.. jia you~ then PT.. quite funny and slack cause doing with see ting.. haha.. half-way got diarrhea! must be the chicken cutlet.. stomach was churning like hell.. but after that okay le.. so training jus ended like that then the jie sanpart damn stupid.. i say "nanyang" nobody answer.. haha.. then i said longer then they went "ace".. lol.. it ended at 4+ lor.. then in the end we went to play at the outdoor court.. lol.. yingrong yngtyng and yangyi were piggy-backing people.. lol.. then they 3 piggy-backed me! lol.. so funny.. then bounce and bounce and bounce all the way from one end of the court to the other.. lol.. SO FUN but scary.. lol.. cos i dont really like to be piggy-backed.. lol.. then like wanna drop like that.. haha.. then started to da qiu.. and half-way through lightning striked and all of us crouched or squat down immediately lor.. LOL.. what a scene man.. haha.. then yangyi very scared but we continued playing till it drizzle.. then after that started pouring like siao.. haha.. then we hurry go back in and had mini-team-meeting.. on sec4 farewell party stuffs.. okay.. i will write the ideas down and if you all have other ideas for the gifts, tell me k.. then maybe endof this week or next week then i will call you all back and vote then we carry on to prepare the gifts.. :)okay..
tired now.. haha... byebye~ till next time.. haha...

oh yes.. waited.. but still nothing happened... i shall continue to wait then..

WHY.. should I care
Cause you weren't there
when I was scared
I was so alone
YOU.. you need to listen
I'm starting to trip
I'm losing my grip
and I'm in this thing alone

Crying out loud
I'm crying out loud

Open your eyes
Open up wide
WHY.. should I care
Cause you weren't there
when I was scared
I was so alone
WHY.. should I care
Cause you weren't there when
I was scared
I was so alone
WHY.. should I care
If you don't care then I don't care
we're not going nowhere
WHY.. should I care
cause you weren't there
when I was scared
I was so alone
WHY.. should I care
If you don't care
then i don't care
we're not going nowhere






why did you ever care in the first place? WAKE UP! NO ONE'S GONNA PITY YOU! NO ONE'S GONNA HEAR YOU SCREAMING AT NIGHT! NO ONE WILL FEEL YOUR PAIN!

erm... 18 days since 22 June 2005... its been so long.. hmm... everyday seems to pass like a year... something missing in my life... hai... yet i can do nothing... all i can do is wait... wait for time to pass... wait for things to change for the better...

i dont know what else to say cos nothing's been happening to me lately...yearh...so i shall wait till something does before i blog again.. haha... talking crap here... so sianded... sunday morning and i have nothing to do.. hmm.. ~

okay.. this is for yesterday.. hai.. very very very sad.. deproved.. got moved to the other team.. damn.. not saying that the other side is bad but feel so irritated.. anyway.. i gonna be replaced soon.. don't think i can keep my setter position in b-div.. not next year but when i'm sec 4.. i guess see ting knows what i talking about.. haha.. and see ting! thanks for lending me that ear.. haha.. but was really fun playing yesterday huh? haha.. laughing and singing and shouting and slacking all at the same time.. wahaha~ yay.. see ting is nice to play with.. cause i can laugh at her when she spike wai.. haha.. k.. jkjk.. crap..
if i'm really replaced.. i think i'll cry my eyes out.. haha.. wa.. play volleyball for like 5 years or so and be substitute.. i would rather quit lor.. but this title as captain is even more crap.. make me feel worse that i am captain yet i'm gonna be replaced.. wa damn leh..
let's forget about that first.. if i'm replaced.. the most i'll do is kill jiao lian and the person who replaces me lor.. haha.. then i can get on with my life le.. haha.. but i won't kill myself.. yay.. my life too precious le.. haha.. jkjk.. ego.. haha..
today.. played like crap again.. the feeling of playing setter changed.. i don't feel as important le.. hmm.. guess i shouldn't have taken the setter position in the first place.. hmm.. i also don't know why i took the idea.. paid for it with all this misery over 1 position lor.. so not worth it.. but nevermind.. volleyball's my life.. haha.. i won't give it up unless my efforts go down the drain or that i'm kicked out of nyvb.. lol.. hope that won't happen.. WAHAHA.. hmm.. i think i talking crap here.. lol..
setter is chang shang ling hun? MY FOOT LAR.. like real.. i like stand there and be wallflower one like that.. then all the balls i set no one can spike one.. bleah.. but nevermind.. shall work hard with see ting.. lol..
when think of yesterday pt i cant help but keep laughing.. haha.. okay.. i think this is getting a little too long.. shall stop here and go do my work..

OH! for those ny volleyballers who read my blog.. i think only got yumei and crystal.. lol.. this friday youth day celebration can wear own clothes right? haha.. we shall wear our jersey okay? :) you all want the dark blue one right.. look more pro.. haha.. but when we wear we always lose leh.. haha.. choi choi..

okay..byebye~ :)

why like that??????
i dont know whats happening... :'(
i guess now.. only seeting knows how i feel..
haha.. seeting is nice to dui gang with.. especially when got outdoor training.. lol.. we were singing while spiking, shouting while digging.. lol! yay she rock.. lol..