hope you enjoy it this time... you gave it all away.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

dun feel like blogging today. but. felt the need to speak. freak tat huahua. she gave up on our jurong match. how could she. i thought she was so professional as a coach. fuck her. we believed. she crushed it. anyway. score was 11-25, 20-25. big improvement for us for the second match. very organised i could say. good match. but still feel like crying after the match. we lost. hopes and dreams crushed like paper in my hands. why. why did i let the ball fall jus like tat. i could have gotten it back. i could have. i should have. i would have. tell me please. just what's wrong wif me. i'm getting so sad tis few days. so sad. so sad till i cry everyday. i'm sorry ben.. if u see this. i didn't mean to cry. just felt so hopeless, so helpless, no one to tok to, no one to cry to. quite disappointed that u cant come to watch my match. but. anyway, played my heart out jus now. cancel my wish list! yay. hai. i said yay and i'm sad. makes no sense. wats the use anyway. freak.

Where is the love?
where is the love?
where is the love, the love, the love...

I walk a lonely road,
the only one that i have ever known,
dunno where it goes,
but its home to me and i walk alone.

wishing at 10:53 AM

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

freak. to hell with huahua. wat the shit. she said we looked down upon our opponent. shit her. like where in the whole match did she see that? damn. and she noes it very well. we cant win. we cant and we never will win jurong in C div ok. fine. jus shutup.

tmr we'll jus play our best. wo3 men2 pin1 le. i dun care if i end up with a broken knee. i dun care anymore. i'm jus gonna play my heart out and make sure its my best game ever. i wont let myself down. i wont. i noe we're gonna lose. yes. people will think we're crazy. so wat? i dun care anymore. come on people. we're gonna play this with our lives le. i'm angry. we're ALL angry sec 2s. so we're jus gonna take it out on jurong tmr. come on people. we'll show them wat we're made of!

luck. ALL luck. i wont ever believe anymore. training hard doesn't work. its ALL jus luck. count it on our bad luck then. we didn't break the record. but we will work for greater heights in B div. Nanyang Steady ACE!

wishing at 11:44 AM

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

ARGH.
WE LOST THE MATCH TODAY.
=::( a confirmation. goodbye nationals. y cant i have been faster and don't look at the ball drop? freak. i could have got it saved. i could have. i noe it. u noe it. mr. teo knows it. jiao lian knows it. we freaking not getting into nationals. there's NO way we can beat Jurong and bukit panjang. even if we wanna believe, there's no use anymore. it's enough. shutup people. there's no use dreaming anymore. no nationals, no dreams, no happiness. wake up. its only a dream. it will be one, and must be one. wake up.

cried in the bathroom today. both home and cck sports hall de. kicked, banged, crumped the wall with my fists and feet. knuckles were red. almost bled. freak. and to believe i could actually get hurt jus because i lost a match. people will think : so wat if u lost? listen people. getting into nationals were our dreams. and in 1 split second, it was smashed to a million pieces. think abt it guys. think real hard. how will u feel? one word to explain. Freak.

anyway... played guitar when i came home. quite cool. could get the strumming and picking done wif the least bit of accuracy. very hard, very hard indeed. but... i dun expect to learn overnight ya? i'm still practical here although i just cried out my brains jus now. ok. had enough. blog next time. cyas people. bye.

wishing at 2:05 PM

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Te quiero.... Ashiteru.... Je t'aime.... Ich Liebe Dich.... Ti Amo.... Eu te Amo.... Saya sayang kamu....
We are each angels with only 1 wing.... and can only fly when embracing your loved ones....
A tune is a song without words.... a Death is a life without love....
loving is a feeling from deep inside your heart.... treasure it.... and u shall find your true self....
Take each day as u find it.... if things go wrong don't mind it.... cos deep inside u noe it.... u always know u love it....
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take.... but by the moments that take our breath away....
If you want the rainbow.... U have to put up with the rain....
You get more than you give.... when you giv more than u get....
May your day be filled with blessings.... Like the sun that lights the sky.... And may you always have the courage.... to spread your wings and fly....
To the world you may just be somebody.... but to somebody.... u may just be the world....
There is a choice u have to make, in everything u do.... And u must always keep in mind.... the choice u make.... makes you....
The long and tiring road is always shorter.... when 2 people walk it....
Kind hearts, the garden....Kind thoughts, the root.... Kind words, the blossoms.... Kind deeds, the fruit....
Jus always stay happy... and i'll be happy too.... really....

wishing at 3:44 PM

"The Reason"
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you...

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You... [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you...

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you...

wishing at 1:41 PM

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone I walk alone
I walk alone I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line, Of the edge and where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone I walk alone
I walk alone I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ahAh-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

wishing at 1:21 PM

"Welcome To My Life"
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy,
but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt, To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt, To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

wishing at 1:15 PM

Saturday, January 22, 2005

I FEEL SO CRAPPY, SO SUCKY, I'M GONNA BREAK DOWN SOON. SOMEONE SAVE ME. ARGH!! trng sucked yesterday. Fuck tat darn huahua. How dare she call me stupid and dumb. Like hu's the one who's stupid AND dumb. haha... anyway... today had OM.. we finalise our script le!!! YAY!!! haha.. i'm a shopkeeper aka doctor aka puppet controller. haha... alot of roles huh... yar lor... all those boring boring stuff all throw to me.. sickening... like WOW lor... hai... hu tell me to be so nice... haha.. let them take the farni farni roles to have farn...hai... nvm lar.. gonna end in term 3 anyway.. hahaha... so... dun care lar.... haha... i'll just make do with what i hav... and try my best lor..haha.. anyway..
went out today wif 367.. to bishan... haha.. took 2 times neoprint!! yayayayay!!! 2367 rawks big time!!!!!! and 236sq.7sq. rawks too... haha... we ALL rawk big time!~ haha... haiz... feel soooo crappy.. dunno y.. get angry at the slightest of things... then keep feeling like dying..... so sick... haiz... so long never blog le... lost touch le.. haha... aiyarhz.. dun care lar... i no time marhz... so dun blog lor... i very bui song now can... wa lao.. freak... haiz... i suck. big time. and people agree too...
haiz... oh yes people.. i noe tis skin veh saddist larhz... but it has NOTHING, i repeat, NOTHING to do with my love life... haha... miss ben as much..haha... maybe a little more.. cant wait for chinese new year eve... haha... got 2 things i look forward to... its after school *hint hint* haha.. and the steamboat reunion dinner at nite.. haha... pig rite.. haha.. but i tink crystal more pig larhz... she piglet.. haha... she damn pig one lor.. haha.. eat and eat and eat.. haha... toking on the fone wif her jus now... i told her i was eating cheese tart.. and she was like: I waN!! haha... but who cares... prove we are not aneroxic.. haha.. crap... haha... learnt many languages today.. and jiayun go copy me and learn also...haha... k larhz.. anyway.. i keep singing when on the fone.. haha... sorry crystal.. if i broke your eardrums while screaming linkin park, haha... i'm sorry... haha... oh yes... haha.. cryst.. i just learnt something... haha... something i wanna say to you.. haha.. Amigos por siempre...haha... go find the meaning yourself k? haha... if the meaning turns out to something awkward... u come ask me k.. haha... ok lar... i'm just feeling downright crappy today. freak myself. i tink i'll stab myself with a knife anytime next week. sickening. i'm left alone in a world i hate. boo...

wishing at 6:07 PM

Monday, January 10, 2005

wAhAhA... finally got out of my house... went Suntec and Bugis today with crystal lor... haha... so cool... bought quite alot of things and spent quite alot too.. haha... cryst brought ALL the money she had today and spent quite alot of it too.. haha... i bought a new pencil case!!! yay... big, long and black one... so cool... it wrote "Go Away, SHOOOO!".... haha.... people watch out.. keep OFF my pencil case... ;) bought 2 fbts too... hai... so sad.. bought 1 S size and 1 M size... shit lor... crystal wear S only lor... haiz.. skinny little girl.. haha... i tink i fat le!! how? haha... and i didn't grow taller at all lor... so shitified... haha... went to eat mos burger for dinner... haha.. we very pig lor... eat one whole meal already still not full leh!! haha... and i thought cryst was the only pig.. haha... jkjk... and yearh.. had fun today... keep getting lost in Suntec... haha... dunno how many donkey years ago did i last go there le... haha... then in Bugis... we keep walking the same place over and over again..haha... we took neoprint!!!!!!!! haha... so cool!!! veh pretty lehx!!! i wanna take more wif 2367 leh...haha... i like.... last time we take that one veh pretty... we go take again next time k?? haha... k anyway... die.. tomorrow is monday.. hai... another week of school... but looking forward to next sat and sunday's activities... haha... jus hope they'll be farn!! haha...k people.. i gtg... late already... hav to sleep early.. tmr got school!! and trng... booo.... haha... k... bye then... cYas!~ jus remember... wishes DO come true... it just depends on how much u believe in it.... muAcKs!~

wishing at 3:03 PM

Sunday, January 09, 2005

hEy ho people.. sorry la... my com spoil... got the stupid virus..
cant even open my internet explorer.... so didn't blog for quite a long time...very sad now... stupid coach of mine keep saying i slow.. still call me 'aunty' leh!! like PLEASE lor hu's the AUNTY over there... imagine tat.... fancy calling someone 20 years your junior AUNTY.. then u wat? ah ma issit? freakening... keep shouting at me... especially when i'm on court... keep saying i slow... if u can find another faster person hu can play setter then u win lor.. i quit. otherwise u shut your big fat arsy mouth. i'm gonna work. i'm gonna work really hard... REALLY REALLY hard. i will be a fast setter. yes i will... i'll prove u wrong stupid wilted flower. u're gonna regret scolding me aunty someday. u WILL. just wait and see.
anyway... this week was quite boring...
just lessons, lessons, and more lessons... no life la... haha.. everyday is just lessons, training, eat, do hw and sleep... wa lao... totally no life... but today had to go gaomin's house to discuss OM... haha... i tink it'll end up quite fun!!! cos i portraying a string puppet... haha so looking forward to it lor... and we did the English skit also... wa lao... my character name called : Devilish Dreamer Digger... haha somemore is I come up with it de!! haha... didn't noe i'll act as the monster.. lol...
then TOMORROW going Suntec!! haha... going to buy FBT shorts... then my pencil cases, water bottle... and maybe some presents... for my cousins... cos their b-dae coming up.. and so is 2367 one!! hahaha... then maybe going the annual book sale... veh cheap la... see if can grab some good books there anot... haha.. but doubt so la... veh little books interest me... so... jus go see see ba... then ya... go shopping.. then maybe can go esplanade and sit sit... finally ao until weekend lor... weekdays like shit... cry cry cry... sad sad sad... aiya... finally something to cheer me up... haha...
k le... tats all fOlks!! tiLL nEXt TimE!~ mUacKs fOr thE woRLd.not.

wishing at 8:27 AM