hello!

alright so these few days have been spent doing homework, worrying about homework, projects and training..
haha.. HOLIDAYS leh.
sian. how can i spend my holidays like that?
sighs..

okayy so yumei yingrong yngtyng just started asking me weird questions after training yesterday.
scare me lor.. hahah
but okay lar.. realised some stuffs that changed after so many months...
given up... it's better for me anyway..
won't be so sad all the time.
wahahaha..

alright.. these few days have been spent wondering how i'm gonna spend this lifetime.
oh dear.. i ended up asking myself so many questions that i'm settling into depression again.
i dont know what i want to do next time, i have no goals for next year, and i'm just living a day for a day.
gotta change yearh??

Keep thinking of this movie i watched with my teammates quite some time ago.
THE PRESTIGE.
love the movie.. really..
really.. life is all just a magic show.
the starting is grand with some beginning tricks just to get the mood up.
the tricks are simple, yet always entertaining.
then the tension rises as the crowd starts getting restless.
the simple tricks are not enough.
the crowd wants more.
yet the magician always changes at the right time and performs his great trick he is known so much for.
the climax.
a trick which he has practised and perfected all to show the audience.
yet deep in the hearts of the audience,
all they are waiting for,
in spite of all the amazing praises awarded to this magnificent magician,
is for him to slip.
just a minor mistake in the trick.
and all else goes wrong.
but it's not the case.
the trick is perfect.
perfect.

the magician PLEDGES.
he invites some from the crowd to inspect his machinery.
no scams.
seems perfectly real.
what a wizard.
he does the pledge.
to disappear.
and reappear.

the magician TURNS.
the machinery is activated.
the magician steps in,
gives his best smile ever.
and he disappears.
the crowd gasps.
eyes are wide, hearts are thumping, all are worried.

then he does the PRESTIGE.
in just a sudden flash.
he's back.
the magician's back.
the crowd applauds.
applauds so loudly,
it seems to the magician it was all worth the effort.

the effort of using someone who looks SO much like you,
he frightens even yourself.

call that a trick?
scams. all a lie.
just like life.

people congratulate when you're born.
but deep inside, they know.
someone else has joined them in a living hell.
it won't be an easy journey. good luck.
when things turn for the worse,
they start getting worried.
but they know it's all part and parcel of life.
so they wait.
they wait.
they wait till you struggle out of difficulty on your own.
to live and strive for all you've suffered for.
then when you reappear as someone successful,
they applaud.

so what is the most important in a magic show of life?
the prestige.

you want people to applaud for your achievements. dont you?

though you know.. it ain't all that perfect afterall.