it's coming back. the horrible feeling of loneliness. damn. why now? i guess it's because i'm sick. argh. why cant i ever get things right. why cant i just learn to let go. why cant i just forget all that's happened. why cant i get rid of my headache! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

i'm sick of waiting. i'm sick of being just a someone else. i'm sick of thinking that you feel the same. i'm sick and tired. i dont know why i care so much. maybe i yearn for a place. a place where i can really stick my foot in and BE THERE. i dont want to be just an after-thought. to be an oh-i-thought-she-knew.

i think i'm just caught up in my own world. but cant i break out of it? argh. it's not so simple. you wouldn't know unless you've been through it. i'll give my all to be able to live without a care, live without unhappiness and jealousy, live without a doubt. it would just be so much easier.